Mass Effect: Conversations
by Kreidian
Summary: A series of conversations and events between characters to fill in for some much needed dialog. Don't worry, there will be plenty of action as well.   Shep/Liara pairing
1. Author's Prologue

** A / N **

Having been a huge, long time fan of Mass Effect from the original I've always loved the depth and the story of both of these great games. In particular the great character and their interactions with each other. However after playing the second game in this series I had felt one thing was sorely missing. A great deal of the crew interactions and dialogs are just flat out missing from the second game. That is, but far, the biggest flaw of the game in my opinion. ( there's even an entire social group on the official Bioware forums dedicated to this issue; Just do a group search for "More Crew Dialog" )

Eventually I decided to write up some of my own crew dialogs to fill in some of the gaps of conversations that would go a long way to really adding a ton more depth to the events of the second game. That's what these conversations are all about. The first one starts off just after the end of the first game so as to setup the characters and decisions involved that would affect the following chapters. Hope you enjoy these snippets in the story.

As usual I do not own anything Mass Effect related.

** A / N **


	2. Ruckus Celebrations

"Ok I admit it, this is kinda nice." Sarah Shepard said contently as she sat at the special table that had been setup for her in Flux, a popular club in one of the Citadel Wards. It had the distinction of not only being very well liked before the Geth attack, but it was also in one of the few sections of the Citadel that was still in more or less one piece after Sovereign's destruction.

The entire crew of the Normandy had decided it was a time for a celebration after their hard fought victory. And much to Sarah's discomfort she had clearly become the toast of the party. After all she was the Hero of the Hour, the Savior of the Citadel, plus whatever other stupid titles the media could come up with. Being the center of attention was never Shepard's style, she was an Infiltrator. She preferred to stay out of the limelight given the chance. Now she was realizing this would become more and more impossible.

Still she was glad to take it all in stride. Her crew had done an amazing job in these past few months, and they deserved every ounce of celebration they could revel in. Even from her early life on the dark streets of Earth, Shepard understood all too well the importance of taking care of your crew. And so for their sake she was determined to enjoy herself along with them. Of course it helped that the one woman she was madly in love with happened to be sitting right next to her.

"I am so glad you are finally allowing yourself to enjoy this." Liara said gleefully in her soft almost child-like voice. "We are alive, Sarah, due in no small part to your own actions. There is no greater reason in the universe for these festivities."

"You always know how to say things that make me smile Liara." Sarah said unable to hide her happiness. She wanted so much to hug her Asari lover tightly right there and then but unfortunately her left arm was still in a very restrictive sling, making the desired motion very difficult. A gift from Dr. Chakwas, though her broken arm was the least of her injuries, the major ones anyway. She still got off pretty lucky considering she survived having a giant chunk of a space monster fall on her. In the end Shepard decided to compromise on the hug and instead leaned over and kissed Liara on the cheek.

Liara smiled warmly, and perhaps a bit seductively, before deciding to return the kiss, this time full on the lips. Shepard gladly obliged.

"Ugh! Get a room you two." Ashley Williams joked loudly. Shepard just laughed at her reactions as Liara pulled back, blatantly blushing.

"What's the matter Ash?" Shepard returned fire, "Jealous much?"

"Ha! Not a chance." Ash shot back, "I'm not really into aliens, or women for that matter. No offense Liara."

"No offense taken." Liara said humbly.

"Come on Ash, wasn't this your idea?" Sarah continued.

"My idea was to have a party." Ash explained, "You know dancing, drinking, having fun. Not so much with the spit swapping."

"Well with all my broken ribs dancing isn't really an option." Shepard said, "And according to the Doc's instructions all those crazy meds she has me on means the drinking is not gonna happen. That pretty much just leaves having fun." She gave Liara a lewd wink in full view of the Gunnery Cheif making it clear what sort of fun she had in mind. Much to Liara's continued embarrassment. Though the way the Asari continued to hold on to Shepard's good arm made it obvious she wasn't really opposed to the idea either.

"Well unlike some people I can have fun and still exert some measure of self control." Ash responded.

"You're kidding right?" Shepard laughed, "This the same Ash we're talking about? Weren't you the one who, just moments after we were getting pulled out of Sovereign's wreck, decided it would be a good idea to punch a reporter in the face."

"You should be one to talk when it comes to punching reporters in the face, Skipper." Ash smirked.

"That is quite true," Liara added, "However unlike your altercation, I do not recall Sarah shooting the camera immediately after assaulting the reporter."

"Yeah well she had it coming." Ash admitted, "I mean they were pulling you out on a gurney and that bitch was demanding an interview with you. She's lucky I only shot her camera."

"Thanks for that by the way." Shepard smiled. "I swear the look on her face as she watched her camera blow up like that. Priceless. Almost makes it worth the pain of being the meat in a Reaper sandwich."

"Heh. Anytime Skipper." Ashley tilted her glass towards Shepard in a gentle salute, "One advantage of being a Williams kid, don't have to worry about some reporter ruining my reputation."

The three women continued laughing as their conversations continued. Now that Shepard was beginning to relax, and in fact enjoy herself, she was beginning to appreciate just what this meant for the crew, and how much the crew meant to her. From their booth Shepard could watch as the rest of her companions each celebrated in their own way.

Joker had managed to make his way to the bar, crutches and all. He looked like he was in heaven surrounded by several giggling Asari maidens. No doubt he had told them how he was the Alliance pilot that helped save the Destiny Ascension as well as the one that fired the killing blow on Sovereign. It was hardly surprising to see him milking that for all it was worth. Shepard laughed as she imagined all the trouble he was getting himself into, and how he'd probably think it was totally worth it.

Garrus and Wrex had ended up sitting at the same table, to everyone's surprise, and were now engaging in all sorts of simple and thankfully non-lethal competitions. They were now trying an Earth classic that Shepard had taught Garrus once aboard the Normandy, arm wrestling. Already it was obvious Wrex was winning that one.

Tali had decided to stick with the other engineers of the Normandy, who were all sitting at their own table probably discussing technical schematics of some kind or another. While Chackwas and Pressley sat nearby drinking mirthfully. Chakwas was having no trouble pounding down the drinks. As mature and sophisticated as she was, Shepard knew that woman could drink just about anyone under the table. Pressley on the hand looked like he was about to keel over. He was a talented navigator and an excellent XO, but that man just could not hold his liquor.

A shrill scream suddenly caught all of their attention as the three women immediately looked towards the dance floor for the source of a potential threat. It became quickly apparent that the source of the scream had been one of the human waitresses that worked at the bar. Shepard recognized the girl, Rita was her name, and she was now cowering in front of a very large and very mean looking Turian. The Turian was grabbing onto Rita's arm far too roughly for Shepard's comfort.

"Save the screaming for later babe." The Turian said in a demeaning voice, "All I'm asking for is a little fun."

"Please," Rita begged, "You're hurting me." She was right, the Turian's claws, normally fairly sharp to begin with, had been sharpened further in a style popular among Turian warrior clans. With his strong grip his talons where already beginning to draw blood on the helpless waitress.

"Oh baby, I haven't even begun to hurt you." The Turian said with a predatory glint in his eye.

Shepard was not about to put up with any more of this and made to stand up, only to have Ashley hold her firmly by the shoulder.

"Don't do it, Skipper," Ashley pleaded respectfully, "Remember your injuries, Doc wants you to stay out of trouble!"

"Ash I don't care what you or the doctor said," Shepard answered with a cool rage, "Unless you have some way of stopping me I'm going to walk up there, tap that Turian on the shoulder and smash his face in the second he turns around. Do I make myself clear, cheif?"

"Very." Ashley replied simply.

Moments later, a silvered crutch deliberately tapped the Turian's shoulder. When he turned around it wasn't the injured Shepard he was looking at but the cocky pilot Joker looking back with a knowing grin.

"Hey man, sorry to bother this tender moment and all but you see that lady sitting at the table over there," Joker jerked his thumb in the Commander's direction, "Well you're kinda bothering her and I think it would be in your best interest if you leave this lovely woman alone and head on out here."

"You mean that broken bitch over there?" the Turian spat as he noticed Shepard and her arm sling, "Ha! What are you two crippled monkeys gonna do, bump into me with a lev-chair?"

"Ah sorry, I don't think you get it." Joker explained, his manner still completely jovial despite the obvious threat. "See that right there, that's my CO, and she just got done saving the galaxy and everything. But the problem is she doesn't have much of a tolerance for jerks like you who work so hard at that elusive 'biggest asshole ever' award. No offense." His smirk made it clear the offense was intentional. "In fact if it wasn't for her injuries she'd already be mopping the floor with your ass by now. And knowing the Commander it would be violent, there'd be blood everywhere - mostly yours - and they'd have to replace the drapes and everything. Fortunately for you, the Doc gave her very stern instructions not to over exert herself. She even used her 'I'm serious' stare and everything. So for her sake we'd all rather you just left."

"Oh is that right?" the Turian said not believing Joker for one second. "Well then maybe I don't wanna go. Maybe I rather beat the crap out of a stupid human like you. Get some of your blood on the drapes." He walked right up to the Flight Lieutenant staring him down from just inches away.

"Yeah see that's not gonna happen." Joker continued refusing to back down, "I mean first of all, picking on the crippled kid? I mean really that's just sad man, no one's gonna take you seriously. Second of all, I never said I was gonna fight ya, I'm just the messenger in all of this. Those two on the other hand," he pointed a finger just over the Turian's right shoulder, "probably have other ideas."

The Turian turned to his right to find two well armed and armored indivuduals - another Turian with a very large Krogan of all people - glaring back at him menacingly.

"Just so you know," Garrus told the other Turian, "We're still debating whether or not we should pursue a more diplomatic solution."

Wrex, rather then say anything, took two steps forward and drove his fist through the turian's face. The powerful punch sent the Turian flying off his feet landing on a nearby table which broke from the sudden impact.

"Aaand looks like the debate is over." Garrus added casually just before jumping into the fray after the Krogan.

As the bar fight quickly ensued Shepard, Liara, and Ashley remained sitting casually at their table as if this was a common occurance for all three of them.

"You realize I'm gonna hear about this from some pissed off admiral come morning right?" Shepard sighed "The least you could do is let me enjoy the good fight if I'm gonna get in trouble for it anyway."

"Sorry skipper." Ashley smirked, "Doc's orders."

"Yeah speaking of which, real handcuffs? Seriously?" Shepard said as she raised her good arm to show the offending metal wrapped around her wrist, the other end had been attached to the table severely limiting how high Shepard could raise it.

"Well the Doc made me promise that I'd do whatever it takes to keep you out of trouble." Ashley admited, "Besides you made it very clear that the only way to stop you from getting into the fight was to physically restrain you. They way I figure this was the only way I could follow both your orders and the Doctor's." Ashley lifted her glass in the direction of Dr. Chakwas table. Shepard turned to see Chakwas lifting her own glass in approval of Sheppard's current restraints. Pressly was already sprawled across the table next to her, passed out from the excessive number of drinks he ingested, both of them.

"Where the hell did you even get these things?" Shepard said realizing she wasn't going to win this one. She was curious about the handcuffs seeing as there were far more effective and more advanced means of restraining some one in this day and age then these archaic contraptions.

"An old boyfriend gave them to me actually." Ash replied, immediately receiving odd looks from both Shepard and Liara. "And before you ask, no power in the universe can make me tell that story."

"So is this form of bondage common in human relationships?" Liara could not resist asking.

"No power in the universe!" Ashley insisted, "However no point in me missing out on all the fun, so I'll be kind and hand the key over to Liara." As promised she handed over a shining metalic object to Liara. "Just so long as you promise not to let her go until things settle down."

"Very well I promise." Liara nodded as she took the key in her hand.

"Great, now if you'll excuse me there's a bar fight sorely lacking some good old fashioned William's ass kicking." Smiling Ashley turned around began making her way towards the nearest Turian she could punch.

"I hate you so much right now Ashley!" Shepard called out as she watched Ashley walking away.

"She's only trying to protect you Sarah." Liara said in a soft warm voice to try to calm Sheppard down.

"I know." Sarah sighed, "In fact I'm glad that the whole crew is getting this chance to vent out all of their nerves after the hell we had to go through on this mission. I just wish I could releive some of my own nerves as well, instead of being stuck with this damn sling. Bad enough I have to deal with the constant mothering I'm getting from Chackwas about my injuries."

"She is a very good doctor." Liara suggested.

"That she is, especially when it comes to hard headed marines like me." Shepard smiled.

"You know if it's your nerves that need releif," Liara cooed into Shepard's ear, "I know several Asari techniques that might help with that."

Shepard looked deep into Liara's eyes as she smiled seductively, "Now that you mention it, I could also show you some of the more creative Human techniques, particularly those involving these handcuffs."

"Oooh that does sound exciting." the Asari scientist licked her lips, "I'd definitely have to study these Human techniques you speak of, purely for anthropological study of course."

"Oh of course." Shepard replied in a sultry but commanding tone, "You should probably start by taking the other end of these handcuffs and putting them across your own wrist."

"You mean like this?" Liara asked with a mock innocence that only hieghtened her sexuallity. Shepard never took her eyes off Liara's own and never did see her putting on the handcuffs, but she could tell from the clicking sound of the restraints that she had managed to put the other end on her own wrist quite effectively.

"That's right." Shepard smiled, "Now I would suggest moving to somepla-" something caught the Commander's attention from the corner of her eye that forced her to look away from Liara, "JOKER LOOK OUT!"

As Joker's body flew towards them he was suddenly enveloped in a blue-purple aura of biotic energy which quickly stopped his momentum without any serious injury. Surprised at having avoided certain doom Joker looked up to see Liara with her hand streched out and quickly reailized he had used her biotics to lower him saftly to the table.

"Are you alright Joker." Though it sounded like an order it was obvious Shepard was simply concerned for her pilot.

"Oh wow, thanks Li'." Joker said gratefully, "And yeah I'm ok, nothing broken. Sorry about that Commander, I tried to stay out of it, I really did, but I'm pretty sure I pissed off that Turian earlier."

"You don't say." Shepard glared down at him though clearly she was just happy he wasn't hurt.

"Well it's not like-" Joker stopped himself when he suddenly registered the fact that Liara's arm which she had used to save his butt was also attached via handcuffs to the Commander's own unbroken arm. "Um, am I interupting something? Please tell me I'm interupting something. Better yet just continue doing whatever it was that I interupted, I'll just watch from here."

"None of your business Joker." Shepard warned him, she was doing a better job of hiding it then Liara, but the blushing on both their faces was obvious enough for Joker to tell he was probably on to something.

"Sure right." Joker said as he wiggled his way to the edge of the table, "But whatever you were doing just do me a favor and take a vid or something. That way if it miraculously makes it onto the extra-net for whatever reason I promise to give you a major cut of the profits."

"Joker." That was definately an order, as well as a not remotely subtle threat on the Commander's part.

"Alright I get it, I'm dropping it." Joker put his hands up. He wasn't about to piss off Commander freaking Shepard. They didn't call her the Butcher of Torfan for nothing.

"By the Goddess are you alright?" one of the Asari Joker had been talking to rushed up with a concerned look on her face. It seemed her two other Asari friends quickly ran up besides her to check up on the Normandy's infamous pilot.

"Oh you know ladies, the pain is just a small sacrifice for protecting the galaxy." Joker gave them his most charming smile as he made his way roughly to his feet. Without his crutches however he had to lean against the table for support. "Though I think that mean Turian might have really done a number on my leg." Shepard could tell from the way Joker was standing that he was faking it completely. "I think I'm gonna need some help getting to my room tonight. I don't suppose any of you lovely ladies would be willing to escort me?"

"I think we might be able to assist you." One of the Asari spoke up.

"Oh yes," another one said, "after all it's the least we can do to ... thank you."

Shepard watch the trio of Asari lead Joker away with only a small hint of disbelief on her forehead. Finally she spoke up saying, "Ok that's it. Liara I've been trying to deal with my injuries as best I can but I swear to god if I don't get some action tonight I'm going to pick up a gun and shoot somebody!"

Liara could not help but giggle loudly at Shepard's outburst, there was a time when her words might have scared her but since their melding she had come to better understand the Commander and realized the joke for what it was. "Rest assured, Sarah, I will not allow you to remain so tense on this night." She stood up grabing Shepard's still cuffed hand with her own and added, "Let's return to your quarters so we can start showing each other those techniques we were discussing earlier."

As Shepard followed her move she quickly said, "Liara you read my mind."

"Not yet, my love," Liara smiled, "But don't worry that will come later."


	3. Cooldown

It was the next afternoon by the time Captain Anderson was standing in the Normandy's medbay looking extremely annoyed. He would have been here sooner but in all the chaos following Saren's attack dealing with a simple bar fight took a lower priority. Still it was a bit of an embarrassment to the Alliance that he even had to come down here at all.

"So what's the damage Doctor." Captain Anderson ordered as he looked around. there were only a few crew members in the medbay by that point, he noticed Joker still stabilized on one of the beds while Tali was standing nearby looking awkward over the entire situation.

"Surprisingly little actually." Doctor Chakwas spoke up in a comforting tone, "Mostly just your typical minor cuts and bruises as you might expect. Joker here is the only serious case right now with several small fractures to deal with. Though by the nature of these fractures it's very evident they did not occur during the bar fight itself so I don't think that qualifies."

Anderson heard Joker excitedly whisper a "Totally Worth It" from his bed which caused him to just shake his head.

"As for Tali," Chakwas continued, "She's actually just here for a followup, she suffered a suit puncture during the fight but I've already treated her with a booster dose of antibiotics, and she tells me her own suits seals were able to contain any contamination. It will be another day or so before we'll know if she contracted any infection but so far I'd say she'll be just fine."

"Good to know." Anderson said maintaining the same scowl on his face that he came in with, "And the Commander?"

"In her quarters." Chakwas answered, but before the Captain turned to leave she added, "I would highly advise that you knock before entering Captain." That made Anderson stop in his tracks for just a moment, during which he simply nodded at the doctor before walking away.

The relationship between the Commander and the Prothean expert was hardly a secret, at least not on board the Normandy. Despite no longer spending any time on the ship, Anderson was smart enough to figure out what was going on between the two of them. As the Asari was technically a civilian it wasn't like Shepard was breaking any regulations with this relationship. Still, in the interest of digression he opted to use the comm interface rather then barging into the Commander's cabin.

"God dammit!" Shepard's voice screamed though the comm, "I gave explicit orders that I was not to be disturbed for anything less then another Reaper attack!"

"Good thing I outrank you then, Shepard." Anderson replied coolly.

"Anderson! Shit! Um ... Sorry sir. Gimme a minute." Shepard voice cried out frantically realizing she had put her foot deep into her own mouth with her little outburst against a superior officer. Liara's voice could be heard in the background in soft whispers which Anderson decided to purposely not focus on.

"At ease, Shepard." Anderson said, his voice remained calm but stern, "How about you and I meet in the Comm room when you're ready. And by that I mean I'll see you there in five minutes."

"Yes sir, Understood sir." Shepard replied sheepishly.

Five minutes later Commander Shepard was walking into the Comm room in her casual standard issue dressings. She had left her sling behind in part because she had been in a rush to get ready, mainly because the damn thing annoyed her to wear it. Captain Anderson was already there of course, as was Chief Williams which was a bit unusual.

"I asked the Chief to join us as well for this meeting." Anderson answered Shepard unvoiced question, "I had hoped to get more of the senior crew in here but Pressley is apparently still hungover, and the good doctor is still tending to Joker." Shepard simply nodded in response.

"I have to say Shepard," the Captain continued, "You sure do know how to make a mess don't you. I can't believe you managed to get your entire crew and ground team into the middle of a bar fight, so soon after the battle with Sovereign." Ashley could only remain quiet, she'd been railed on by a superior officer enough times in her career to know sometimes it's best just to shut up and take it.

"Yes sir," Shepard replied, "I take full responsibility for the actions of my crew, sir."

"I'm sure you do." Anderson shook his head.

"Permission to speak freely sir?" Shepard asked suddenly

"Go ahead Commander." Captain Anderson said with a quirked eyebrow.

"You wish you'd been there to join us, don't you?" Shepard smirked knowingly.

Ashley didn't even realize her jaw had dropped to the ground in response to the Commanders brazen comment. She was even more shocked to discover moments later that Captain Anderson was laughing, actually laughing, in response.

"Heh, fair enough Commander." the Captain said finally, "Consider your wrist duly slapped. Don't think there's anyone in all the Citadel that will have a problem ignoring this one, all things considered. I just hope to god you all got that out of your systems. You and your whole crew still going to be on shore leave until everyone is fully healed and the Normandy is patched up. I expect everyone will be able to manage this down time without getting into any more stupid fights, am I clear Commander?"

"Perfectly sir." Shepard smiled.

"Good," Anderson nodded, "With that out of the way I wanted to bring you up to speed on what we have planned for you."

"As soon as my ship and crew are ready," Shepard said seriously, "We need to do everything we can to prepare for the next Reaper invasion. They are coming, sooner or later, no doubt about it."

"I understand." Captain Anderson sighed, "Unfortunately things are not quite so simple. The council still isn't even sure how to handle all of this. Until they can get a handle on the situation they're just labeling this whole mess as a Geth attack."

"Wait a minute, Geth?" Ashley blurted out, "What about the Reapers, they're the true threat!"

"Agreed," Anderson said, "But for now the Geth are the more obvious threat."

"You mean the more believable threat." Shepard frowned, "With all due respect sir, I can smell a cover-up when I see one."

"You're right." the Captain admitted, "But there's nothing I can do about it. Right now the Council just wants to avoid wide-spread panic. You must understand everyone got hit hard by this attack, no one ever expected a direct assault on the citadel like this, everyone's scared enough as it is."

"Doesn't seem right. Sir." Ashely offered remaining as militarily respectful as she could manage.

"I understand what you're saying, sir." Shepard added, "But, honestly, it's all bullshit. ... Sir."

"I suppose it is," Anderson frowned, "But that's the way things go. Perhaps if I get elected to the Council I'll be able to change their minds. Seems pretty likely thanks to your little endorsement."

"I meant what I said sir." Shepard nodded, "There's no way I would trust Udina on the council seat."

"Well until that happens there's not much either of us can do to change the Council's minds. Not yet anyway." Anderson explained, "In the meantime the Geth are still out there, and they are still a threat. We'll be sending you and your crew out to try and deal with as many of their holdouts as you can. If the Geth were working directly with the Reapers then that's going to be your best opportunity to find some hard evidence to show the Council."

"I understand, sir." Shepard said, "But I have to ask, about my crew..."

"Wondering if you get to keep the gang together." Anderson smiled, "You've got nothing to worry about, the Alliance brass is more then happy to keep a good thing going when they see one. You've proven you can all be pretty effective, even with all the aliens on board. Not to mention, this ship was always intended as a cross-species project, keeping this a multi-species crew can only help relations. Besides, you're a Spectre, we don't have any real say in who you can recruit regardless."

"Thank you sir." Shepard smiled. Anderson knew there was one particular alien on this ship that she wanted to keep nearby. However knowing the Commander, Anderson was sure she would have fought tooth and nail to keep them all on board. She was always very protective of the people she considered her crewmates.

"Does that mean that I..." Ashley spoke up. "I'm not being transferred off the ship sir?" In her experience, as soon as anyone actually started caring about any position she was assigned to she would suddenly find herself reassigned.

"In case you forgot, Miss Williams," Anderson explained to the marine, "I put you on this ship for a reason. And from the reports Shepard made, I was one hundred percent right about you. Yes I know about your family history and I don't care, you're a fine soldier Williams, it's clear your place is here with Shepard."

"I ... Thank you sir!" Ashley tried hard not to squeal, "You don't know how much this means to me sir."

"Just do us both a favor and keep proving me right, Williams." Anderson said.

"Yes sir!" Ashley replied, "Of course sir!"

"Very good." Anderson smiled then looked back over to Shepard, "You'll be getting intel on current known Geth stronghold in the region. Until then you're both dismissed. Keep up the good work, Shepard."

Both marines saluted as the Captain left the Comm room. After a while Sarah looked over at Ashley who still looked incredibly pleased with herself.

"Guess you're stuck with us for a long time yet, Ash." Sarah smiled.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Skipper." Ashley grinned, "This ship, this crew, probably the best thing that ever happened to me. You can bet that no matter what happens, no matter where you go or what you do, I'll be right there with you, Commander."

"That's why I love having you on this crew, Ash." Shepard laughed, "A hardcore marine like you with a poetic side, I can't see you ever walking away from me."


	4. Death of a Spectre

_I was in my room at the time, studying some Prothean disks we had discovered some time ago. Most of them had been found even before Saren's death, but I had not had as much time to study them in as much depth until now. It spoke much of of the dullness of our current assignments that I had suddenly found myself with so much time for study. The entire crew was getting anxious, Shepard more then most._

_I was handling it better then most but then I had plenty to distract my mind with, however even I had to admit it felt like our collective talents were going to waste. Though they still called it a 'war with the Geth' for us it was more like cleanup. Admittedly we had all become very good at killing geth in our hunt for Saren, but we all knew the Geth were just the tools used by the real threat. The true danger to all organic life in the galaxy was still waiting, watching, biding their time to strike at us. The Reapers were coming, the creatures at the very heart of my scholastic theories of universal extinction cycles, of which the Protheans were only the most recent._

_Of course now gaining the academic recognition I had once long for seemed far less important to me. A tenure is a small thing compared to the continued existance of everything and everyone I hold dear. The Reapers would not stop, they would strike back soon._

_Had I known just how soon the would strike back, and the nature of their counter attack, I would have begged the Goddess that we could have remained blissfully ignorant as we continued cleaning up the remainder of the Geth forces._

_My entire world jerked suddenly, the ship moving faster then the stabilizer could compensate for. It was the first indication that something had gone wrong. Red warning lights and alarm suddenly filled my world, the ship was on top battle status. Suddenly everything jerked about violently. It took a moment for the shock to subside until I realized what had happened, and the thought filled me with fear. We had been struck by enemy fire. Immediately I reached for the emergency combat suit I had nearby. It was an ugly thing, a Pheonix model as I recall, but it was the only one I had available nearby. My normal armor was locked away in my personal storage locker one deck below. I could not risk getting it in case we were leaking atmosphere._

_And yet, before I could even bother putting the helmet on I was already running out of the room. Things were burning and exploding all around me, everything shoock violently. Whoever or whatever the enemy was, they continued to fire on us with deadly accuracy. All I could think of was to keep running. I had to reach the one person who would know what to do, the one person I had to make sure was still alright. The one person I loved more then any other._

**"Shepard!"**_ I cried out as I approached her._

**"Distress beacon is ready for launch."**_ She said in a professional manner. She was already on top of the situation it seemed. But if she was getting ready to launch a distress beacon things were even more dire then I could have hoped. She looked at me and motioned towards her helmet in an authoritative manner. A reminder to put on my own helmet in case things got any worse, which is precisely what was happening every minute that passed by._

**"Will the Alliance get here in time?"** _I asked as I finished securing my helmet. I must have betrayed more of my fear to even ask such a question, but after all this time I still did not know how well the Alliance Military operated. The Normandy was the only Alliance ship I had ever spent any time on after all._

**"They damn well better."** _Shepard cried out. Suddenly there was an explosion behind me, followed by another as one of the nearby conduits overloaded. Immediately Shepard sprang into action reaching for the nearby fire extinguishers to put out the fires that had resulted. She tossed one of the devices to me, as if on pure instinct we both began to work together to put out all the nearby fires._

**"I'm not doing this just so they can find our frozen corpses."** _Sheppard added once the fires were under control, she suddenly looked back at me and yelled._ **"Get everyone into the escape shuttles."**

_She was telling me, no ordering me to leave her behind. I knew I had to do it, but my body refused to move. No it was my mind, my soul, that simply did not want to leave her. I had to be there, and so I had to have a reason for being next to her. My mind was quickly shifting through all the information that I could think of for the current situation, trying to come up with a reason to stay behind. In the end I could only come up with one._** "Joker's still in the cockpit, he won't abandon the ship."**_ It was certainly true, we both knew the pilot well enough by now. There was a human term for it. He was "cocky", too much so for his own good according to Shepard. But that was not enough, I had to be honest with her, I could do nothing less for the woman I loved,_ **"I'm not leaving either."**

**"I need you to get the crew onto the evac shuttles."** _She said only a bit more softly this time, but it was no less an order. She walked past me as she added,_ **"I'll haul Joker's crippled ass out of here."**_ Despite her harsh words I knew she cared deeply for Joker, and in fact for all her crew. It was why her primary goal first and foremost was the safely of everyone on board. She would get the pilot to safety there was no doubt in my mind about that, but I still could not simply leave her behind._

**"Sarah..."** _I began, hoping to find the words that would somehow convince her to let me stay with her._

**"Liara. Go. Now."** _That wasn't an order. The way her blue eyes stared directly at me as she turned her face towards me. I instantly knew how she felt. There may not have been any official regulations against our relationship but it was still a cause for concern. She did not want to have to be in a position where she would have to choose between our relationship and the her duty. I had promised her, no matter what, no matter the dangers or the circumstances, I would never force her to choose between the two. If I forced her to allow me to stay that would be precisely what I would be doing to her._

**"...very well."** _I finally said, deferring to her wishes. Without another word I turned around and left towards the escape pods, urging the rest of the crew to follow me. Fear and adrenaline were perhaps the only things keeping the tears at bay._

_I quickly met up with Chief Ashely Williams, ironically wearing the same armor as I was, likely she too befell the same misfortune as I had. She was already getting people into the pods organizing them quickly and efficiently into each shuttle in order to save as many people as possible. I could not have expected anything less from the talented soldier._

**"Come on everybody in! Go! Go! GO!"**_ Her loud commands forced everyone into action, their own training allowing them to almost instinctively find a their place in the escape pods. I felt like a fish out of water moving about them clumsily compared to their hardwired military precision. But even I quickly found a seat in the final pod, right next to the door. I think part of me hoped that I would see Shepard coming into the pod at the last minute._

_Already most of the crew had been evacuated, thanks to the actions of the Gunnery Chief. Only a few of the crew for the lower decks remained unaccounted for. Already I could see one of them running towards us, desperate to make her escape from the crumbling ship around us. Suddenly there was another explosion as the attackers hit their target once again. I hear the young woman scream, watched in horror as she was thrown from her feet, slammed against a wall and fell dead to the floor._

_Ashley stared at the corpse for only a second before she herself entered the pod and sat down directly across from me. Part of me wanted to scream out, to yell at her against what she was doing. But part of me now realized that it was too late for any remaining crew members. In her mind Ashley knew that she had to launch our final escape pod now, or risk losing everyone else inside along with us. Even as every nerved in my body protested the reality of the situation around us, I could only sit in silence as Ashley hit the release button. Immediately the doors sealed and we were all jerked to the side as the escape pod was literally launched forcefully from the Normandy's hull._

_My mind was wondering, unconsciously I found myself looking at the empty seat next to Ashley. I knew all too well that it represented; a missed opportunity, a lost life, because someone had not made it to that seat in time their life was now over. It may as well have been a coffin for all its emptiness signified._

**"Don't worry Li'"** _Ashley spoke up, she must have noticed my staring, and it wasn't hard to guess the source of my apprehension._ **"There's still the emergency escape pod next to the cockpit. Shepard will get Joker out of there, they're both gonna be alright, you'll see."**

_I could only nod dumbly in response. Her words were true enough, at least I tried to convince myself of that, but I simply couldn't complete ignore the dread that filled me. My mind knew all too well how easy it would be for Shepard to die back there. And though she had managed to escape death numerous times, this one felt different somehow, perhaps because I was not next to her this time, or perhaps because of the nature of the attack that crippled us so quickly._

_Equal parts frustrated and terrified, I could only look out the tiny window in the escape pod. I could see the Normandy now, the sight instantly sickened me as I saw just how mangled the one proud ship had become. One engine had been completely sheared off, entire sections of the hull were now missing. Most of the control systems were likely no longer functional, and yet somehow the ship continued to fly, in the opposite direction of the escape pods._

_I was not a flight expert by any means but even I understood enough of space flight to realize such a controlled flight under such extreme conditions would be extremely hard for most pilots to managed, much less any automatic piloting VIs. That meant only one thing, Joker was still alive! And if he had survived so far it meant there was still hope for Shepard as well!_

_No sooner had my hopes been elevated than they were suddenly dashed completely as a massive beam of energy ripped through the ship once again, this time cutting completely through the entire ship. It struck again and again until suddenly a massive explosion marked the death throws of the ship we all once called home._

**"Sarah!"** _I did not even realize I had cried out her name, didn't even feel the tears as they ran down my face. It was only sometime later that I even sensed the deepening silence of the rest of the crewmembers inside the pod with me._

**"Don't worry, Joker and the Skipper got to the pod on time."**_ Ashley finally said after the silence became too heavy to bare, _**"She had to."**_ By then it was obvious to me she was no longer trying to convince others, she was trying to convince herself._

_It would be hours before an Alliance rescue ship arrived, but it had felt like decades to me. Whoever our mysterious attackers were they had vanished just as quickly as they had arrived. Apparently content with the destruction they had wrought. I had spent that entire time just watching; watching as the debris from the Normandy drifted further and further away. Eventually I realized it was falling into the planet below. Part of me wondered how much of it would survive the planetary entry, whether Shepard would be among the resulting crash site._

_When we were all finally aboard the Alliance rescue ship I found myself sitting with the rest of the alien crewmembers of the Normandy, Garrus and Tali. Wrex had not been on the ship, having only told us that he had some personal matters to deal with first. Technically Tali should not have been there either, having finished her Pilgrimage. But she had decided to stay on board for a bit longer, under the pretense that we would be "giving her a ride" as Shepard had put it. The idea was she would leave once the Normandy had caught up with the Flotilla. But now I wondered if she would have to find a more direct route back to her people._

_They were trying to keep their hopes up, they were trying to cheer me up as well. It wasn't working, though I tried to be polite about it. There was a glimmer of hope in their eyes when they brought in the final escape pod, the one from the Normandy's cockpit. But somehow I just knew she would not be there._

_True to my predictions only Joker was inside that pod. He looked ... battered and broken, more then just by what his brittle bones must have experienced. As if something in him had died, just as assuredly as it had for me. I could see the same deathly pallor spread through out the entire crew as he described how he witnessed the Commander get thrust into space, with nothing but her combat suit to protect her._

_She could not have survived, we all now realized. And even if she had the rescue teams had not found a body. They weren't about to launch a full scale rescue either. Whoever had attacked us could return at any moment, and getting everyone they rescued to safety was their top priority. We were all on our way back to the Citadel instead._

_It was then that I realized that I could not leave it at that. Somehow, someway, I had to return here. Shepard might be dead but I could not allow her to remains as just a memory in the deep vastness of space. I had to find her, and I would, I would find whatever remained of my lover, even if all I found was her battered corpse._

_No matter what I had to get her back._

_Because I could not let her go._


	5. Between Sisters

From: Ashley Williams  
Sent: January 26, 2184 18:22 UT  
To: Sarah Williams  
Subject: RE: How you holdin' up?

Hey Sis,

Thanks for thinking of me, but you know your big sis, I'll be fine. No really, I know you worry about me too much. Can't really blame you with everything that's happened, but I've always been strong, I'll deal.

The funeral was nice. Okay it was heart-wrenching, but the service at least was nice. They held it at the Los Angeles National Cemetery in SoCal here on Earth. Did you know they don't even bury anyone there anymore? They don't have any land left for proper burials but it's still a major memorial. The curator here said they would make an exception for Shepard, even had a spot reserved for her. Not that any of that matters since they never recovered a body.

Dammit, just thinking about it makes me tear up.

Let me tell you about the funeral, like you made me promise. A lot of Brass was there, and a lot of Press too. It kinda pissed me off actually. I mean on one hand it's a great honor to have Shepard recognized to the point where all of those admirals would even show up. On the other it's annoying cause none of them really even knew Shepard. Don't think any of them cared beyond the PR opportunity. Well that's not true, one of them definitely cared a lot. Admiral Anderson was there, gave a great speech and everything. Can you believe he's going to be the next Councilor in the Citadel? I thank God for that much at least, trust me when I say the alternative would have been much, much worse.

Speaking of, Anderson asked me to say a prayer at the service. I think some of the others were kind of annoyed by it, but fortunately Anderson had more then enough pull to keep them quiet. Later he told me it was only fitting seeing as both me and the Skipper believed in God, and more importantly weren't afraid to tell people that. Still wasn't completely prepared for it, but I like to think God heard me, and so did Shepard, who's no doubt with him now.

Most of the Normandy crew was there as well, though honestly we didn't say much. We were all getting reassigned so it was kinda depressing to talk about. I mean it's not like there was anything new to say since Pressley's funeral — at least that one was less of a circus. Hell it wasn't that long ago that we were all at Kaiden's funeral for crying out loud!

Joker was there, figured I'd be more pissed off at him still. But seeing him in person, it was like he was already dead. I just couldn't stay angry at him. He was in a wheelchair — guess all of his broken bones still hadn't healed properly. Ol' Doc Chakwas was with him too since she's still taking care of him I'm sure.

None of the aliens were there. Never thought I'd miss them this much to be honest. Let's see, Garrus, last I heard, was looking into getting some Spectre training, and might be up to join their ranks. Of course last time I tried to get in touch he had fallen completely off the grid, so who knows with that guy. Tali went back home to the Flotilla, now that her Pilgrimage was over she had to get back to her own people. As for Liara, no idea with her. When last we spoke she told me there was something she had to do, next thing I knew she just took off. Not sure what's up with her but I know she took Shepard's death harder then everyone. Can't say anymore about that — knowing you, you'll be spreading that kind of gossip EVERYWHERE!

And hey I know you miss Shepard too. Even if you didn't get to meet her I know she was your favorite of my Commanders. Like you said, she's one of only a small handful of people who recognized me for me, instead of focusing on grandpa's baggage. Of course I think the fact you two shared a first name had more to do with it!

You know, come to think of it, Shepard never had a little sister of her own. She had no family growing up here. I think she would have loved to meet you.

Anyways, think I've bored you enough with my big ass wall of text. Guess I had a lot of stuff to get off my chest. Just promise you won't worry about me so much, big sis can still take care of herself.

- Ash

This message originated from an Alliance military network. It has been censored at transmission source for security purposes. Any reply may be read by military authorities.


	6. Docs and Jokes

"Now please remember these are very serious injuries you are recovering from," Doctor Chakwas talked to her latest patient, another young marine who reminded her of Jenkins, though not in a good way, "Try to take it easy for the next few weeks."

"But I'm cleared for combat right?" The marine asked, clearly eager to leave already.

"Yes, you are cleared for combat." Chakwas sighed, "However that doesn't mean you should be jumping into the hornet's nest at the first opportunity. You're still healing, remember that."

"Uh, right, thanks doctor, ma'am." The marine quickly replied as he gathered the last of his belongings.

Before Chakwas could add anything further he was already running out the door. Another day, another soldier leaving that she would likely never see again, Chakwas mused to herself. So many Alliance soldiers passed through the Mars Naval Medical Center, and Chakwas barely spent enough time with them to fix whatever was wrong with them before they were already heading out the door to their next dangerous assignments.

It wasn't even the idea of her freshly healed patients rushing off to certain doom all over again that bothered her, a long medical career in the Alliance had made her acutely accustomed to the hardheadedness of the average marine. What really bothered her most was the knowledge that she was unlikely to ever see those soldiers again. Even if they got injured again likely they would be treated by some other doctor on some other planet or alliance station, who knew as much about those soldiers as she did, which was next to nothing. Plus being stuck to a ground side post was downright boring compared to life aboard a ship.

In truth she missed the Normandy, she missed being part of a consistent crew. She missed Commander Shepard and how she seemed to make everyone on that ship feel like part of a family rather then just a random assortment of Alliance personnel.

She looked at the chrono of her Omni-tool, deciding now was a good time to take her lunch break, only an hour late this time. She walked towards the exit as she placed her data pad on the counter of the nurses station. Before she could reach the door one of the nurses called out to her.

"Doctor Chakwas, you have an incoming call." The nurse said professionally.

"Who is it?" Chakwas asked as she turned and began walking back.

"It's from BB's." The nurse said somberly. Her words made Chakwas stop dead in her tracks. BB's, short for Buster's Bar, was the popular local watering hole where most of the Alliance soldiers preferred to hang out. If they were calling her at this time of the day there was only one reason.

"Tell him I'll be right over." Chakwas said in a sad but determined tone as she turned around and walked out there door.

* * *

Buster's Bar was a dive. A nice dive perhaps but clearly a dive. However they offered cheap drinks, and military discounts, plus they were in a great location near the rest of the Mars Naval base. It was not uncommon to see a great deal of Alliance personnel there, but rarely before the evening rush.

Jeff Moreau sat at one of the bar's tables. Then again he sat everywhere he went, especially since being confined to this wheelchair. The man had been known to his friends as simply "Joker", but as far as he could tell he really didn't have any friends left, and he was certainly in no mood for jokes. All he had was his wheelchair, a shitty Alliance subsidized apartment, and the even shittier drinks in front of him. He was still only halfway through the drinks so far, but he'd get them all down. He was getting pretty good at that.

"Jeff?" he heard a familiar voice call out to him, which he obstinately refused to acknowledge as she downed yet another shot. He didn't even remember what that one was or what it tasted like. Not that it mattered anyway.

Doctor Chakwas would have been distraught over what she saw had she not been expecting it. Sadly this was not the first time Joker had devolved into such a state of despair in recent months. He looked worse this time, but then he looked worse every time he did this. His eyes seemed both haunted and angry, being so terribly bloodshot didn't help either. His beard, which was once trimmed and well cared for, had been left to its own devices, and now looked horribly disorganized and unclean. His clothes were ragged, the doctor couldn't even tell if they were clean or not. He still wore his SR-1 baseball cap over his uncut hair. Chakwas resisted the urge to cringe as she saw a now familiar burn mark along the edge of the cap.

The sight broke her heart, as did Joker's obvious determination to ignore her. But she was not about to give up so easily.

"Lieutenant Moreau!" Chakwas said forcefully. That got his attention, but rather then look right at her Joker swipe his arm violently across his table, sending two bottles and three glasses flying off the table and onto the floor bellow.

"I'm Not a Lieutenant anymore!" Joker cried out, "Didn't you hear? I got promoted! Gave me a nice pitch and a pretty pin then stuck me behind a desk! I'm not the Lieutenant you're looking for." Joker immediately started laughing at something he found humorous. After a while he stopped, took a deep breath then laid his head down on the table. The room was suddenly spinning for some reason. He probably should have gotten to eat before coming down here. Before he even realized it his eyes were closing all by themselves. _'Stupid eyes.'_ he thought to himself, _'Very well we'll play it your way ... for now.'_

"Oh Jeff," Chakwas said sadly once she realized Joker had fallen asleep again. The deep sense of concern couldn't escape her tone either.

After the destruction of the Normandy the Council had decided to simply bury everything, much to everyone's dismay. Sovereign was nothing more then an advanced Geth warship. All of Shepard's claims were the rantings of a 'simple human' who had been under an extreme amount of stress. Even the destruction of the Normandy was just one more unfortunate loss in the war against the Geth.

No one cared that the ship that destroyed the Normandy was nothing even remotely like a Geth ship. Nor did they care that Shepard was never someone who would crack under stress. She proved as much on Torfan. Plenty of other soldiers suffered because of what happened there, Major Kyle being one notable example. But not Shepard, she just kept pushing forward. That was why she eventually became a Spectre.

But all the Council cared about was burying the truth. They had no idea how to handle the information so they just chose to ignore it. And the Alliance, spread so thin now and desperate to hold onto their new found position in the galaxy, were all too eager to follow suit. And so they helped bury the truth.

The crew of the Normandy had been reassigned, spread out, the family was purposefully dissolved.

Jeff was ironically promoted; for going above and beyond the call of duty in the final moments before the destruction of the Normandy. However the promotion was just a ruse, a cover for their true intentions, with his new rank he was reassigned to a meaningless desk job. It was an equally meaningless promotion as he had no authority over anyone now. It was a classic Alliance whitewash. But worse of all his new assignment meant he could be kept grounded. They had taken a man who could barely walk and removed any chance he had to fly. Worse yet they had done so by glorifying his regrets. It had been well over a year now and Jeff had only gotten worse as a result.

Holding him gently she pulled back so he was laying back against his chair. He was still out cold and didn't offer much resistance. Soon she was pushing the former pilot out the door. She had little trouble reaching his apartment, after all this wasn't the first time she had to take him home like this.

* * *

Jeff Moreau woke up the next morning to the sound of the galaxy's most annoying doorbell, not to mention its worst headache ever.

_'Huh, now I know how Kaiden felt.'_ Joker thought to himself grimly. He looked around realizing he was back in his apartment, and tucked in his bed even. Strange, he didn't remember how he got back here, not that he much cared either way. He face contorted in pain for a moment as the annoying doorbell rang once more. Someone was at his door, much to his disgust.

"Go away!" Jeff yelled, "I don't want any!" Rather then discouraging whoever was at the door, it only made them ring the doorbell again, this time followed by an insistent knock. Cursing loudly, Jeff shifted over and eventually onto the wheelchair next to his bed. He then clumsily made his way to the front door.

"Get a fucking clue already." Jeff continued yelling, "Whatever you're selling I'm not Interested!"

"On the contrary Mr. Moreau." A woman's voice with a noticeable accent of some kind spoke up from the other side, "I think you'll find you are most interested in what I have to offer."

Partly out of curiosity, mostly out of annoyance, Jeff reached the door hitting the control pad to allow it to open up. Even as he did Jeff continued talking loudly, "Look lady, I don't know who you think you are-" Suddenly Joker found himself unable to remember the rest of his tirade as he looked at the woman now standing before him. She had the body of a supermodel wrapped in a skin tight uniform of some sort that left nothing to the imagination even as her proportions were driving Joker's imagination wild.

"I am Miranda Lawson." The tall voluptuous brunette said in a professional tone with a perfect Australian accent, "And I need to speak with you privately. May I come in?" Not waiting for a response from Joker, Miranda quickly stepped inside his apartment letting the door close behind her.

"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?" Joker finally managed to get his senses back.

"As I mentioned before I have a unique offer for you." Miranda explained.

"Fine already, what is it already?" Joker exclaimed.

"We know you've been grounded by Alliance command." Miranda said simply.

"That's nice, and thank you so much for reminding me about that." Joker growled.

"What if I told you that we could provide you with the opportunity to fly once again." Miranda smiled knowingly at him.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Is this some spaceline pilot deal?" Joker asked, "Sorry babe but I'm not too interested in playing some glorified bus driver."

"Rest assured the position we have in mind for you is anything but ordinary." Miranda said with a serious tone, "We need more then just a pilot, we need the best for a very dangerous mission."

"Ok, I have to know, who is 'we' exactly?" Joker asked, clearly showing some interest in what Miranda was saying.

Miranda frowned slightly even as she leaned back, crossing her arms in front of her, before simply saying, "Cerberus."

"What?" Jeff cried out, "No way. No fucking way I'm working for you sick bastards. I've seen what you're capable of."

"You've only seen a fraction of what we're capable of, I assure you." Miranda quickly rebutted, "Cerberus isn't quite as evil as you might believe. If you give me a chance I can prove it to you. Of course if you'd rather sit here in your own filth just wasting away that's fine by me. I'm merely giving you an opportunity to do what you love most." For a moment her professional gaze turned into a sneer as she added, "The Alliance isn't going to give you the same chance, they don't even care. They'd all rather hide their head in the sands rather then face what's coming."

Joker looked up at her critically, he knew exactly what she meant by that. Besides any way he looked at it, Miranda was the only one offering him a chance to fly again. "Alright, let's say for argument's sake I'm willing to consider your offer - and I'm not saying I am! - but assuming I was, just what sort of mission are we talking about exactly."

"Sorry Mr. Moreau." Miranda teased him as she shook her finger at Jeff, "You don't get that sort of information until after you join. I can however make you two promises."

"Oh joy, this should be fun." Joker said thick with sarcasm, "Well go on."

"First if you join Cerberus we will get you walking again." Miranda said, her voice downright clinical, "Under your own power, no need for crutches or other assistive devices." As if to prove her point she looked down at Joker's wheelchair. "You'd still have Vrolik's Syndrome, don't get me wrong, but at least you'll be able to enjoy much more self autonomy."

"You're shitting me." Joker said surprised both by what she was saying and the possibility that it might be true.

"I'm quite serious Mr. Moreau." Miranda said, "After all, improving human lives is what Cerberus is all about." It was obvious to her that Jeff was struggling with her offer against his own morals, but she knew she would be able to convince him, all she had to do was seal the deal, carefully and deliberately. "I can see this is a lot for you to think about so I will give you some time to consider my offer." She pulled out a small data pad with all the important information and tossed it towards Joker, letting it land perfectly in his lap. "Keep in mind however, time is of the essence, so I will need your answer by tomorrow."

It was all a ploy of course, a way to force the pilot into making a hasty decision, the one she wanted. Without another word Miranda turned around and began walking out of the apartment.

"What about the other one?" Jeff asked just as she reached the door, in response Miranda stopped and turned her head back towards him, "You said you'd make me two promises, what's the other one?"

Miranda smiled, she had him now, hook line and sinker. "Let's just say we hope to reunite you with one of your former Commanders." She made certain to put just enough stress on that last word so he would notice.

Joker's eyes went wide at her words, confirming everything Miranda needed to secure his cooperation, "You don't mean..."

"If you care to find out, Mr. Moreau." Miranda interrupted him coldly, "You will have to join us." With her mission accomplished, the Cerberus Officer quickly made her exit out the door.

* * *

Part of her couldn't help but worry. She tried to tell herself that the chances something had gone wrong were tiny at best. After all Jeff was in perfect health - not counting the minor case of alcohol poisoning - when she had last left him sleeping in his bed. She could think of no reason why he could possibly be in any sort of danger. And yet Doctor Chakwas could not stop herself from being concerned. It had become, she decided, a bad habit of hers to worry so much about him.

Then again, no matter how much Joker had to drink, he should have been able to respond to her calls by now. That meant one of two things to her, either Jeff was in some sort of situation that prevented him from answering or he was purposefully ignoring her calls. If it was the former then her concern was justified, as was her decision to check in on him after work. If it was the latter then she would have to scold him on why ignoring her was a bad idea, and she would do so in person.

As she reached Jeff's apartment she noticed it had been locked from the inside. She wondered what he could have been up to but ultimately decided this was a good sign. It meant that Joker was not only likely still alive and well, but he was also currently inside. Without a second thought she typed in Jeff's personal key code, letting herself in as soon as the door was opened. What she found surprised her.

The apartment had been cleaned. More interestingly there was a large Alliance issue dufflebag on the chair next to the door. Jeff was definitely up to something.

"Geez, back already. Talk about impatient." Joker's voice called out as he made his way out of the bedroom. He suddenly looked up and realized it was Doctor Chackwas standing there instead. "Oh Shi- I mean - What are you doing here Doc?"

"Expecting someone else Jeff?" the Doctor asked, she was trying not to sounds too accusing.

"How did you get in here? I thought I locked the door." Joker said after a while.

"Considering the number of times I had to drag you back home from your drunken escapades you shouldn't be surprised that I would have learned your pass code by now." Chakwas now had her arms crossed looking at Jeff critically, "Now don't change the subject and tell me why you're suddenly ignoring my calls."

"I ... ah ... I can't. Sorry." Jeff said finally. He focused on purposefully NOT staring at her while he made his way towards his bag.

It was not lost on the Doctor that something had happened. Joker was completely different now. He was wearing a clean set of Alliance fatigues, he had showered, even shaved - well trimmed to be more precise. The beard was still there, just considerably more well groomed. He had even changed his baseball cap. It was still Alliance issue but at least it was clean. Clearly Jeff was excited about something, it was almost like he had a mission of his own.

"Jeff, I need to know what's going on." Chakwas said calmly but sternly. She was obviously not going to let him go without some soft of explanation.

"Look I can't, okay!" Jeff replied, "It's for your own good, I don't want you to get mixed up in all this."

"Jeff? Tell me what happened, where are you going?" It was not so much a question as a demand on the doctor's part.

"No." Jeff looked up at her firmly, "Trust me if I tell you you're not gonna like it. And if this blows up in my face I'd rather not drag you down with me."

"Look Jeff, I understand perfectly well how hard things have been for you recently." Chakwas said, trying a different approach. She raised a hand before Joker could interject with any counter-argument then continued, "I've been with you the whole time so I know what you've been through. If you've found yourself involved in something this big as you claim then I have every right to know what it is, both as your friend and your doctor."

"Well, as my friend and my doctor." Jeff responded, "The last thing I want is for you to get involved in this."

"Very well, have it your way." Chakwas said after a moment of heavy silence. Joker let out a small sigh of releif, that is until he realized the good doctor was activating her omni-tool. It looked like she was establishing a link with someone.

"Wait a sec, who're you calling?" Joker asked with a bit of concern.

"You've been exhibiting self destructive behavior for some time." The doctor explained with an unnerving calm, "Now I am witnessing a sudden personality shift first hand. I would be remiss in my duties as a medical professional if I did not report this right away. As a matter of fact, I am so concerned over you mental state that I think I shall have you admitted to the psychiatric ward of the hospital, where we can observe your behavior more carefully. I'd say a couple of days worth of observations would be a good idea, just to be safe."

"You wouldn't." Jeff glared at her quickly realizing the threat.

"Try me." Chakwas responded with a dread seriousness to her voice. Jeff struggled under her gaze as he tried to figure out how to get out of this one. When it came to squirming out of tight situations it was just not the sort of thing he was good at, not unless a ship was involved, and sadly his wheelchair didn't count.

"Alright!" Joker caved finally, "Alright, you win." he grumbled something quietly while trying to steel himself against the argument that was inevitably going to follow his revelation, "It's Cerberus."

"Cerberus!" Chakwas exclaimed.

"I told you you wouldn't like it." Joker shot back defensively.

"What does Cerberus have to do with any of this?" Chakwas demanded.

"They offered me a Job." Joker admitted.

"You cannot be serious Jeff." Chakwas said.

"It's not your basic job offer here." Jeff explained, "They can get me flying again, and more then that, they said they can get me walking too." Chakwas was shocked to hear this but at the same time it was not completely surprising. Cerberus had vast enough resources, and it had been clear based on their previous encounters that they had quite a few unusual research projects at their disposal. But still, Chakwas knew there had to be more then this.

"What else Jeff?" the Doctor asked, "What are you not telling me?"

"Well ..." Joker struggled with his inner thoughts about revealing this last bit. Part of him realized how stupid it sounded but at the same time he couldn't just ignore it, and Chakwas wasn't about to let him off the hook any time soon. "They may have mentioned something about Shepard."

"Shepard?" Chakwas exclaimed, "What would they have to do with Shepard now?"

"I don't know, okay!" Jeff cried out, "That's why I have to go. I have to find out what if anything they have to do with her."

"But Joker, Shepard is dead." Chakwas began.

"Don't you think I know that!" Jeff yelled before Chakwas could say another word. It was immediately obvious that he regretting yelling at her, but he decided to just continue instead. "But who knows, maybe they found the body, or ... something, I don't know." He allowed himself to calm down a bit before continuing. "All I know is I have to find out, one way or another. Besides, let's face it, this is the best shot I have right now of ever flying again. This is the _only _shot I have of continuing what she started, I owe it to her to try."

"Oh Jeff," Chakwas said softly, "No one blames you for what happened to her."

"Yeah well I do, so I guess that's some one." Joker shot back, "If you wanna lock me up in the looney bin for it then you go right ahead, but I HAVE to do this. Please."

Doctor Chakwas considered Joker for a long time, thinking of everything they have been through. She realized he was right, this was something he needed to do, no matter how bad it might seem to her. At the same time she knew she could not simply let him walk away on his own. She, too, owed much to Shepard. Her mind made up and her face frim, Chakwas pulled up her omni-tool and began to write a message.

"What, are you serious?" Jeff barked out, "You mean after all that you're still going to put me away?"

"On the contrary Mr. Moreau." Chakwas smiled at him, he wasn't sure if that was a good sign however, "I'm simply writing a message to the Hospital staff informing them that I will need to take a leave of absence. It seems I will be escorting a dear patient of mine to a different hospital for treatment. Unfortunately Doctor-Patient confidentiality prohibits me from divulging which hospital I will be traveling to. You do want your privacy after all."

"Wait, what are you saying?" Joker asked.

"I'm saying that I am going with you, Jeff." Chakwas told him sternly, "And this way we'll have a week at least before anyone tries looking for us."

"What? No, that's like the exact opposite of what I wanted here." Joker argued.

"This isn't about what you want Joker." Chakwas said, "It is your choice to go, and it is my choice to follow. I'm not going to try to change your mind, please don't bother trying to change mine. Besides I'm quite certain Cerberus won't turn away an experienced Alliance medical officer."

"But ..." Joker knew this was going to be a losing fight. "Ok, but what about your stuff. We can't exactly afford to waste time at your place to pack up everything you'll need."

"Fortunately a life long career of serving aboard ships has taught me how to pack light." Chakwas told him, "I have everything I need back at my office. We can simply stop there for a few minutes while I gather my things. Plus this way I can better sell our cover story as we make our escape."

"Geez you think of everything don't you." Joker rolled his eyes as grabbed his bag and made his way out the door.

"Yes I suppose I do," Chakwas mentioned as she followed behind, "Which is why I should remind you that if you try to give me the slip, I will be forced to inform Alliance command of your direct association with a known terrorist organization. So don't try to leave me behind."

"Shit Doc." Joker sighed, "Since when did you turn into such a hardass?"

"Joker I've had to serve as the primary doctor for the most stubborn marines in the Alliance." Chakwas smiled at this, "So you can trust me when I say that I've always been a hardass."


	7. Lazarus

As he leaned against the transparent barricade Jacob Taylor had to hand it to Cerberus. On the one hand if he hadn't joined up with them he probably wouldn't be in this mess now; On the other hand only Cerberus would have actually bothered to install bullet proof glass across the entire station. It had been this particular eye for detail - no matter the cost - that was keeping him alive now.

But the mechs just kept on coming. Someone had hacked them all to kill every human they ran into. Jacob ran the numbers in his head, a station like this, focused on a single task, they kept the non-critical personnel to a minimum, that meant almost the entire security force on the station was nothing but service mechs. The numbers didn't look good for anyone getting out alive now.

As it stood he was low on thermal clips and things were looking grim. Using his biotics he had managed to whittle down the mechs to just three of them, but he knew more were coming.

Three shots rang out from behind him in an even tempo. Before he could even look the three mechs in front of him toppled over, their heads missing. Their missing heads caused their internal cores to overload and explode in three tiny yet destructive 'pop's.

Damn. Jacob had never seen such marksmanship up close before. He turned back to see who had fired those shots. It was definitely not what he was expecting.

"Shepard? What the hell?" Jacob exclaimed.

Before the newly resurrected Spectre could respond the door on the opposite end of the room opened once more, letting even more security mechs in, all of whom started shooting. Immediately Shepard moved in behind cover right next to Jacob to avoid the bullets.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob asked, "I thought you were still a work in progress."

"Look, pal." Shepard began as her intense blue eyes bored down through Jacob's skull, "I don't know where I am or how I got here. Plus, my head feels like an overripe melon ready to split open. How 'bout you fill me in a little?"

"Damn." Was all Jacob could say for a moment. He had heard that the Commander could be a bit ... intense. Forcing himself to focus Jacob added, "Yeah, I forgot this is all new to you. Sorry about that."

"I'm not looking for apologies, I'm looking for answers." Shepard replied. "Who are you?"

"I'm Jacob Taylor," he answered with a nod, "I've been stationed here for -" As he took a peak over the barricade the mechs on the far side immediately focused on him and shot back, effectively interrupting Jacob as he dove back behind cover, "Damn it!"

Things were only going to get worse the longer they hung around here, he needed to do something. Quickly he stood up, letting his Alliance training taking over as he immediately took a bead on one of the mechs. He scored a headshot and was rewarded with another destroyed mech. It was a lucky shot, but he would take all the luck he could get right about now.

"Things must be worse then I thought if Miranda's got you running around." Jacob told Shepard as he moved back behind cover, "I'll fill you in, but we better get you to the shuttle first."

Jacob was about to move to stand up when suddenly he felt Shepard's hand on his collar, he was more then a little surprised by the forced with which she pushed him back against the barricade. She was stronger then she looked.

"Not good enough Taylor" Shepard told him with eyes glaring, "Ever since I woke up, someone's been telling me where to go and what to do. I've had enough of this shit. I need answers. Now!"

Suddenly it dawned on Jacob this was not your average Alliance soldier. This was not some petty experiment he was sitting guard duty on. He was staring into the pissed off eyes of Commander Sarah Shepard. This was the Butcher of Torfan, and there was a damn good reason they called her that. They had brought the Commander back from the dead alright, more then they even realized.

"Fair enough. I'll give you the quick version." Jacob agreed, "You and your ship were attacked and destroyed. You were killed. Dead as dead can be when they brought you here." Shepard's features seemed to calm over, but only as a deathly shadow spread across her face in reaction to the news. Jacob was never good at sugar coating things so he never bothered, as far as he was concerned he'd prefer blunt honesty any day, besides he wasn't finished yet, "Our scientists spent the last two years putting you back together. You've been comatose, or worse, that whole time. Welcome back to your life."

"That's im-" Shepard began clearly shocked by the news, "I'm having trouble wrapping my head around this." A part of Jacob couldn't help but be amused by her reaction. It was completely justified, even for the Savior of the Citadel.

"Yeah. I can imagine." Jacob added. _'I guess Commander Shepard is human after all.'_ he joked to himself before he continued, "The Alliance officially declared you killed in action. The whole galaxy thinks you're dead. And if we don't get to those shuttles, they'll be right." He found her reaction to that last set of news just as interesting. She wasn't shocked, or even angry, she just seemed ... annoyed. Apperently she was already recovering from the news of her ressurection.

"Were there any other survivors from the Normandy?" She asked suddenly looking right through him once again. The question surprised Jacob. All this time, with everything that's happened, with an entire army of mechs trying to kill her, Sarah Shepard was still concerned with her old Crew two years after the fact. Well it probably didn't feel like two years for her, but regardless now wasn't the time for this.

"I'll tell you what," Jacob said deciding on a compromise, "You help me finish off these mechs, and I'll play Twenty Questions with you all day."

"Fair enough." Shepard said simply. Without another word she went into action, rising just above cover she took less then a second to aim and suddenly... BANG! Immediately she shifted her aim, lined up her shot, BANG! Once more changed her target, aimed, BANG! Then just as quickly she was back behind cover letting her shields recharge. Three seconds, three bullets, three now headless mechs destroyed.

_'Wow.'_ Jacob thought just looking at her, clearly impressed with her abilities.

"Well?" She was glaring at him again, her tone demanded action. Jacob quickly forced himself to refocus.

"Sorry ma'am, just admiring your skills." Jacob said before he too went into action. Selecting one of the mechs pulled his arm up quickly. The purple haze of biotics surrounded his target negating the gravity around him as he floated helplessly over the air. As it hung unable to defend itself, Jacob made short work of it with his pistol. He needed more shots then Shepard perhaps but he got the job done.

In the end the remaining mechs were no match for them. _'No,'_ Jacob corrected himself, _'They were no match for Shepard, I was just along for the ride.'_

"Okay. I promised I'd answer your questions." Jacob told her as he holstered his gun, "What do you want to know?"

"Well first thing's first." Shepard began, "Do you know anything about this attack? Who's behind it, what they're after?" Right down to business, Jacob realized, she was certainly living up to her hype.

"Damned if I know." Jacob shrugged, "I was getting ready for some shut-eye - then bam! Bunch of explosions." He looked back at Shepard with a slight scowl creasing across his forehead, "Next thing I know, every damn mech in this place starts shooting ... at us." After a beat he added, "I'm guessing it had to be an inside job. You'd need top security access to hack all the mechs."

"Either that or some serious hacking skills to get into the central control systems." Shepard thought out loud. From the way she spoke Jacob suspected she was talking from personal experience.

"Whatever, we'll figure out the details later." Shepard said focusing back in the moment, her face darkened, "Next question."

"What is it?" Jacob asked.

"The last thing I remember is the Normandy blowing up." Shepard said seriously, she couldn't quite hide her concern however. "Did anyone else make it?"

_'Miranda will be glad to know Shepard's memory works.'_ Jacob thought briefly, remembering how Miranda had told him that memory loss had been a concern.

"Just about everybody survived," Jacob said, to Shepard's subtle relief. "A few servicemen from the lower decks didn't get out. Navigator Pressly was killed by an explosion. But everyone else, including the non-Alliance crew - the asari, Liara, and the quarian - they all made it out alive." Jacob was not quite the psych expert. He was as good at reading people as he needed to be but he didn't quite manage to catch the sadness in Shepard's eyes at learning Pressly's fate, or the joy they showed when hearing Liara's name.

"Do you know what any of them are doing now?" Shepard asked eagerly.

"I don't know, Commander. It's been two years." Jacob reminded her, "They've moved on. Left the Alliance. Could be anywhere."

"They were my team." Shepard insisted, "If they knew I was alive, they'd come back."

_'She really did care a lot about her crew'_, Jacob thought to himself, "Well maybe you can track them down after we get off the station." Frowning he added, "If we get off the station."

"Alright, you made your point." Shepard nodded, "One more thing I need to know however."

"I'm listening Commander." Jacob said.

"How can I be dead?" Shepard asked, quickly adding, "You said they spent two years rebuilding me? How bad were my injuries." This was going to be a tough one to answer.

"I'm no doctor, but it was bad." Jacob explained, deciding again just to go with the blunt approach. Shepard probably preferred that anyway, "When I first saw you, you were nothing but meat and tubes. Anywhere else, They'd have put you in a coffin. But Project Lazarus was different."

"I need to know more about this Project, Jacob." Shepard continued, "Were there any other test subjects?"

"Project Lazarus only had one subject." Jacob told her, "The whole point was to bring you back. Just you." Shepard just frowned slightly but said nothing, so Jacob opted to continue, "Even that was a challenge. Two years. All the top scientists. The best technology money could buy. Last I heard we were spending billions of credits. Good thing it worked."

"What do you mean 'best technology'?" Shepard asked suddenly, "We talking Cloning? Cybernetics?" There was only a hint of concern in her voice, like she was worried about the implications.

"I don't know the details. You'd have to ask the scientists." Jacob began, but he smiled at her as he added, "But I'm pretty sure you're not a clone. They wanted to bring you back exactly as you were." Jacob thought back to seeing Shepard in action, how she moved, how she acted, it wasn't something that could be faked no matter how good the tech was. "You're still you ... you might have a few extra bits and pieces now."

* * *

The ride on the shuttle had been quiet for a while. Jacob thought back to the escape from the station that the three of them had just survived. He and Shepard had encountered Wilson not long after their first meeting. The way Shepard looked at him, it was clear she never trusted him. Then again she didn't trust anyone on this station, particularly after he told her they were all with Cerberus. That discussion had been ... tense. But in the end she agreed to talk to the Illusive Man, if only to find out the full story.

Wilson didn't last long, only just long enough to find Miranda, who promptly shot Wilson in the neck.

Jacob had been surprised to learn Wilson had betrayed them. Shepard had not. _"I had a feeling Wilson was just looking for a chance to shoot me in the back."_ Shepard had told them. Later she had explained the only reason she hadn't shot Wilson yet was so she could find out what he knew about the attack. Jacob should have guessed the former Spectre was always thinking about the mission. Still part of him was annoyed, apparently he had been the only one who didn't realize Wilson was the traitor.

"Can I ask you something Commander?" Jacob finally spoke up, breaking the silence.

"It's your ship, Taylor." Shepard said plainly. She had been staring out the window into open space. There was nothing to see out there but that didn't stop her. Clearly she had a lot on her mind.

"When did you know Wilson betrayed us?" Jacob asked.

"Just about the moment we met him." Shepard replied.

"Really?" Miranda spoke up eying the Commander critically, "That's pretty impressive, if true." Shepard cast Miranda an annoyed glare. Jacob may not have been able to spot Wilson's true intentions but he had no problem picking up on the fact that the two women on this shuttle really didn't like each other.

"So tell me Commander," Miranda continued, "How did you manage to figure it out?"

"Cause Wilson was an idiot." Shepard shot back.

"You'll have to elaborate on that one Shepard." Miranda said after a moment to take in Shepard's words.

"Even before we met, the way he talked, just rubbed me the wrong way." Shepard frowned, "When we found him he was surrounded by dead bodies, all shot by the same type of gun he was carrying. The same gun that also shot his leg, but the angles where all wrong."

"You're saying he did all that?" Jacob asked, "How did you know it wasn't the mechs that did it?"

"The shots were sloppy." Shepard answered, "Not the sort of precision you normally see with a security mech. Plus there wasn't any mech debris anywhere in that room. The server room I might add, exactly the place I'd go to if I wanted to sabotage all of the security mechs in the area. besides the security VIs in those mechs aren't sophisticated enough to target a person's leg, they would have aimed for the midsection. In order for him to have been shot in the leg behind cover he would've had to have been very unlucky or very stupid." She looked up at Taylor, "When you questioned him about the whole mess he got defensive, he had an answer for everything." Shepard shook her head as she leaned back, "I've seen civilians and soldiers get shot in combat, trust me he wasn't acting like he'd been shot by an enemy. He was covering his tracks." She was looking out the window once again, "Like I said he was an idiot, probably a really bad poker player too."

"I must say I'm glad to see your cognitive abilities have made a full recovery." Miranda said clinically, "However before you meet with the Illusive Man, we need to ask you a few more questions to evaluate your condition."

"Come on, Miranda. More tests?" Jacob complained, "Shepard took down those mechs without any trouble, that has to be good enough."

"We should have done weeks of testing to confirm the success of Project Lazarus." Miranda said defiantly before adding, "It's been two years since the attack. We need to know that Shepard's personality and memories are intact. A few questions during the shuttle ride will have to suffice."

"You're wasting your time." Shepard almost growled at them, "I feel fine."

"The sooner we start, the sooner we can be done." Miranda told Jacob. "Start with personal history."

"Okay," Jacob sighed and he brought up the records Miranda had prepared on his Omni-tool, "Records show you grew up on Earth. Tough environment, no parents."

"Jacob I get the feeling you have no idea what it's like to grow up in a 'tough environment'." Shepard said mockingly, "So do me a favor and stop patronizing me."

"I meant no offense, ma'am." Jacob responded.

"None taken," Shepard looked at him, "Just spare me the pleasantries, we're not friends here."

"If that's how you feel why don't you tell us what it was like growing up on the streets of Earth?" Miranda suggested as she took some notes.

"What do you expect me to say?" Shepard shrugged as she began, "Where I grew up was a shit hole. To everyone else the Los Angeles is a gleaming city of glitz and glamor, but that's the buildings above; above the skyways and the walkways where all those of you with the credits can afford to live happy lives. But underneath all that, down on the ground floor with the rest of the mortals, you don't even see the sun. You're always under someone else's shadow. Down there you gotta fight every day just to survive. If you're lucky you join a gang. It's still a fight to survive, but hey, at least you got people to help you. That was my childhood in a nutshell." She looked intently at Miranda and added, "Anymore stupid questions?"

Miranda simply looked to Jacob, as if waiting for him to continue.

"Right." Jacob said going back to his omni-tool to read the rest of the report, "You enlisted at age 18, graduated from the N7 program, even led troops during some heavy fighting." He looked up at the Commander, "Most notably on Torfan. Do you remember taking on some batarian slavers?"

"Taking on? You mean slaughtered don't you?" Shepard narrowed her eyes at him. "I remember how those bastards were dug in deep in a fortified bunker. Most of my squad died in that fighting, and I watched them die one by one in those tunnels. If there had been another way I would have taken it, but we all knew going in that's how it had to be." She looked away for a moment though her gaze remained just as hard, "I sent a lot of good soldiers to their deaths, and they called me the Butcher of Torfan ever since. But if I had to do it all over again, I probably wouldn't change a damn thing."

"I understand Commander," Jacob said sympathetically, "You got the job done. That's all that matters."

"That's not all that matters, Taylor." Shepard said coldly, not even looking back at Jacob, "I got the job done so no one else had to die that day."

"True but you could have pulled out once your men secured the base." Miranda spoke up, "Instead you stayed there until every last batarian was dead, costing more of your men's lives."

"We weren't there to pussy foot around." Shepard said turning to face Miranda, "Our job was to make damn sure those four eyed fuckers learned the consequences of messing with the Alliance. After all the losses we had suffered trying to break Torfan, how do you think the batarians would have seen it if any of them had survived. We had to send a message, and nothing says 'Don't Fuck With Us' like wiping out an entire batarian military stronghold down to the last man. It worked so well that it took the Batarians years before they dared to try anything that stupid in Alliance controlled space. And I ended up stopping them again when they did."

"Ah yes Tera Nova," Miranda nodded, "I read the mission report, I found it interesting that you allowed the terrorist leader, Balak, to go free."

"Different mission parameters." Shepard shrugged, "Our top priority was making sure that asteroid didn't fall. Not sacrificing civilian lives for the sake of my own ego. But don't worry, Balak's on my short list."

"I'm sorry, what is your 'short list'?" Miranda asked.

"If you're lucky," Shepard looked intently between the two of them, "You'll never have to find out."

"Satisfied, Miranda?" Jacob urged the other Cerberus operative. It was clear both he and Shepard were starting to get tired of these questions.

"Almost." Miranda quipped, "Let's try something more recent." with a shallow smirk she looked at Shepard. "Virmire, where you destroyed Saren's cloning facility. You had to leave one of your squad behind to die in the blast."

"Lieutenant Kaiden Alenko was killed in action." Jacob picked up where Miranda left off, something told him this was a question that had better come from him. "It was your call. Why did you leave him behind?"

"I left a friend to die that day, and I didn't do it casually." Shepard's face was still hard as stone, but even Jacob could tell there was some pain left in her eyes from the memory. "Being in command means that sometimes you give orders knowing that your people are going to die. I made the right call, I had to save as many people as I could. Kaiden gave his life for the rest of the team. Without him, I couldn't have stopped Saren. He died a hero."

"I understand, Commander." Jacob felt he had to add something, he was beginning to get the sense Shepard could snap at them if he didn't say something to diffuse the situation, "And I wasn't judging your decision. Everybody at Cerberus knows that cloning facility had to be destroyed."

"No shit, so good to know that some terrorist organization agrees with my actions." Shepard was dripping sarcasm now, "Really warms the heart to know I have your fucking approval."

"I didn't mean -" Jacob began.

"I know what you meant Taylor." Shepard waved him away even as she stared down Miranda, "But since we're testing my memory and all here's a good one for you. I remember quite clearly how I ran into all sorts of fucked up Cerberus experiments while looking for Saren. How your actions caused the deaths of civilian colonists, Alliance soldiers, and at least one high ranking Admiral. In fact up till today I've had to kill every single Cerberus lackey I've had the displeasure of running into. I guess you two are just the lucky ones so far."

"Are you threatening me Shepard?" Miranda asked in an icy tone.

"I don't know, are you feeling threatened?" Shepard shot back without missing a beat.

"You know I think that's enough for now." Jacob said trying to prevent whatever war was brewing between the two of them.

"No one last question Shepard," Miranda shaking her head gently, "Think back to the Citadel, after the Alliance saved the Destiny Ascension, and you killed Saren. What happened next?"

"Humanity was offered a spot on the Council." Shepard replied coolly, suddenly back to her casual self, "I recommended Captain Anderson for the position."

"Yes," Miranda confirmed, adding, "Captain Anderson is now Councilor Anderson. Though from what I hear, he preferred life in the military."

"Still, good to know that the human Council member isn't going to put politics ahead of defense." Jacob said with a soft smile hoping to ease the tension all around.

"Your memory seems solid." Miranda said, though Shepard didn't respond she was back to staring out into space once again, "There are other tests we really should run -"

"Come on, Miranda. Enough with the quizzes." Jacob interrupted her, he was tired of all these tests and really didn't want to agitate Shepard any further either, "The memories are there, and I can vouch for Shepard's combat skills personally." Jacob couldn't help but remember the fire in her eyes even as Shepard calmly took out every mech in front of her with a perfectly placed headshot.

"I suppose you're right." Miranda finally conceded, "We'll have to hope the Illusive Man accepts our little field test as evidence enough."

Jacob smiled as he shook his head. This was definitely Shepard alright, there was no doubt in his mind. He was sure even the Illusive Man would have his hands full trying to deal with her. Already they were getting close to the Cerberus facility where they would check in with the big man on top. Jacob knew that was going to be one interesting meeting.

* * *

.

**A/N:** _I always found it silly how on the shuttle ride Miranda would be satisfied with as little as two simple questions regarding Shepard's past. I wanted to elaborate on that as well as adding some more character background details, and this seemed like the perfect place to do it. Also I figured that what Miranda was really testing was not just _What _Shepard remembered but also _How_. Her reactions to those questions helped to confirm that the memories were there and were the real thing. Which is why I had her continue to prod Shepard with her questions at her own risk. Of course at this point she still underestimates Shepard._ ;)


	8. Lost Freedom

She didn't like him, but then Shepard had decided that one a long time ago. This Illusive Man was nothing but a tool as far as she was concerned. Not to mention an ego-maniac. It was obvious from the way he had everything setup; his office was purposefully dark, with a large window looking out to a dying sun, the communicator purposefully placed so whoever he was talking to could see him standing in front of whatever impressive vista was behind him at the time. Shepard realized the whole setup was orchestrated specifically to make the Illusive Man appear as impressive as possible, thus give him a psychological advantage.

However his efforts were wasted on Shepard, if anything they only backfired. Everything he did only served to make him look even more ridiculous in Shepard's mind. She imagined all he was missing was a gaudy pinky ring and a hairless white cat on his lap that he could stroke menacingly. As it was she had to resist the urge to ask where the Sharks-with-Lazers were being kept - probably under some secret trapdoor in front of his chair.

She grudgingly had to admit he had made a pretty good argument, however. Certainly everything he said had seemed plausible. But Shepard wasn't a fool, she knew when she was being played. She didn't like the Illusive Man and she definitely didn't trust him. But if human colonies were disappearing then some thing had to be done about it. Besides, they had quite literally brought her back from the dead. It seemed only fair to at least check the story out. At the end of the day what mattered most was fighting the galaxy wide extinction that was coming.

"Alright fine." She had told him simply, "If you're really after the Reapers, just point me in the right direction."

"Miranda was worried you'd be resistant." The Illusive Man said, obviously amused, "She's not usually wrong."

"Oh don't worry," Shepard shot back sarcastically, "I'm plenty resistant. I don't like you and I don't trust you. Nothing you say is going to convince me otherwise." Then she added with a cruel smile, "Just so we're clear with each other."

"I'd be disappointed if I could persuade you that easily." Illusive man said smoothly, his face didn't even flinch, he was impossible to read. "Go and see for yourself."

And so at the Illusive Man's suggestion, and probably against her better judgment, Shepard found herself once again aboard a Cerberus shuttle with the same two Cerberus babysitters. She was probably being unfair to them, but she didn't care. Cerberus hardly played fair in every single encounter she had with them, no reason she should change the rules of engagement now. Those two would prove whether she could be trusted soon enough.

Right now she was more focused on Freedom's Progress. That was the latest human colony to be hit. And if any of this crap was true, she had to see it for herself. Part of her found it hilarious that the Illusive Man actually put her in charge of the mission. Miranda and Jacob were now taking orders from her. Perhaps the Illusive Man had far too much confidence in his own superiority and thought he could actually control Shepard. For the most part the whole situation annoyed the hell out of her. But then she was always willing to do the hard stuff if it meant saving lives in the long run. She was willing to work with Cerberus for now, but if the Illusive Man seriously thought he could get her working _for _Cerberus in any serious capacity, then he was just being delusional.

For a brief moment she looked up at the other two passengers of the shuttle and wondered curiously what they where thinking of her command.

* * *

Miranda Lawson never celebrated her successes. Success was simply expected of her. And when success meant she now had to put up with this woman, well there was little for her to celebrate. There was no doubt that Lazarus had been completely successful, as every annoying bit of what made up Shepard had been brought back. Unfortunately this left Miranda with the problem of now having to deal with the fruits of her labors.

Shepard had tried to get more information out of her regarding the nature of her revival. All Miranda would assured her was that there was no control chip in her head, despite her own strong suggestions to the contrary. But in the end the Illusive Man was in charge, and he decided against such actions. Beyond that Miranda had kept the details of the Lazarus Project to herself, making it clear to Shepard that she had no desire to chit chat with her. They had a mission that needed doing, nothing more.

"What's the matter Lawson?" Shepard had teased her, "Afraid you're not his favorite anymore?"

"I've proven my value to the Illusive Man." Miranda told her sourly in response. "Let's hope you're able to do the same."

"Are you naturally this bitchy, or is it just me?" Shepard shot back.

Miranda narrowed her eyes in anger for a brief moment, but she forced herself to calm down. She was not going to play this game with Shepard of all people. Instead she took a step back and regarded her latest 'success' before finally speaking, "I have the utmost respect for your abilities Shepard, it's your motivations that concern me." Her voice was still the same icy tone she had become famous for. "I believe in what Cerberus stands for, only time will tell if you prove to be an asset or a liability to our cause."

* * *

Jacob felt pretty impressed with the famous Commander Shepard. At the end of the day she was an Alliance marine, just like he was. Both of them were straight up about who they were. It might not mean much in the grand scheme of things, but it was something they shared. Which meant despite all the time Miranda spent studying Shepard, Jacob suspected he understood the Commander better then she did. Probably why they got along like they did. They certainly weren't friends, not yet, but there was none of the hostility between them like there was with Miranda.

_'Miranda always did have trouble seeing the forest through the trees.'_ Jacob thought to himself, thinking about his past with the Cerberus officer next to him. He quickly forced his thoughts away from those old wounds. He wasn't much interested in the past, his present was a much bigger concern. In particular he couldn't stop thinking about what Shepard told him.

"I'm glad the Illusive Man convinced you to join us, Commander." Jacob had told Shepard back at the base.

"He hasn't." Shepard replied harshly, "I want to find out what's happening with the colonists. I'm only giving you a chance because you brought me back. I still don't trust Cerberus."

"Noted." Jacob said, "Do you trust me, Commander?"

"No." Shepard said bluntly, "You might just be a good man in a bad crowd, but you're still Cerberus. I'll be keeping my eye on you too."

"Fair enough." Jacob said, "I can't expect you to trust me just because I ask. I'll just have to earn that trust."

"I'm glad you understand." Shepard said, then after a moment she added, "You've been honest with me from the start, Jacob, and I appreciate it. Keep it up and I'll come around."

"Understood Commander." Jacob nodded. That was the end of their typical Alliance Military conversation, short, blunt, and to the point. Both of them knew where the other stood. Only time would tell if they'd get to fully trust each other.

* * *

She had a very bad feeling about the place from the moment she set foot on Freedom's Progress. The entire colony was dead. No, worse then dead, it felt empty, sterile, devoid of all life. It was as if every single person in the entire colony just up and decided to cease to exist at the same time. There was no signs of battle, no evidence of any kind of assault. She wasn't sure what had happened here, but she knew she really didn't like it.

For a second she was almost relieved to find active security mechs, then they started shooting at her. Barely three days passed since she woke up and already she was facing down more hacked security mechs once again. That was getting to be very, very annoying.

The quarians were an unexpected surprise. It made no sense to Shepard why they would even be in a remote human colony, especially now of all times, nothing she could come up with made any sense. Still they were pointing their guns at her, and she as hell was going to point hers right back.

Then suddenly a familiar voice filtered through a familiar suit made her presence known, and everything changed.

"Prazza! You said you'd let me handle this!" the quarian woman said with surprising authority, then her voice was filled with surprise as well, "Wait... Shepard?"

"I'm not taking any chances with Cerberus operatives!" the male quarian who had been identified as Prazza interrupted both them back to present.

"Put those weapons down!" Tali ordered with an assertiveness that surprised Shepard. Then just as quickly her voice melted into a tender tone as she looked right at the Commander, "Shepard? Is that ... you're alive?"

Shepard knew this must have been hard for Tali to reconcile, and yet there was a turmoil of emotion for her as well. Sarah had not expected to run into someone from the old crew so soon. She was unprepared for how to handle that, what could she say or do to explain what was going on?

And Tali, she had changed, matured, she was in charge now, so much has changed. _'Dammit'_, she thought, _'It's really been two years.'_

A storm of emotions was raging inside of her, and in response she simply fell back on her battle instincts. People were still pointing guns at her, and she didn't like that one bit.

"Tali'Zorah, you served on my ship." At first she sounded just like her typical Commander self, just as strong and determined as always. Then her words took on a much more more deadly edge, with all the blunt force subtlety she was famous for, "You know what I do to people who threaten me."

"Prazza! Tell your team to put their weapons away!" Tali ordered the quarians, there was a sense of warning in her otherwise stern words. She was all too familiar with what Sarah Shepard was capable of after all.

"Damn it, Tali, this is bullshit!" Despite his words it was clear Prazza lacked the confidence to stand up to someone like Shepard. Particularly not when combined with Tali's warnings. "Why would your old commander work for Cerberus?" That last question struck close to home for both of them.

"I don't know." Tali struggled to answer, "But if this is Shepard..." She stopped herself, as if those words were suddenly ridiculous to speak out loud, "I don't know. Shepard would have a reason."

"I died Tali." Shepard said with a strange tenderness in her voice, that voice hardened as she added, "Cerberus spent two years rebuilding me. But I'm not taking their orders. We're both investigating the missing colonists."

"How could you turn your back on the Council?" Tali asked. It wasn't the thought of turning her back on the Council that bothered Shepard. It was the way Tali asked her that, as if she had turned her back on Tali herself. Thankfully before she could answer Jacob stepped forward with a response of his own.

"You got it backwards." He said, "The Council turned its back on us. So did the Alliance. Human colonies are disappearing, and nobody else is doing a damn thing about it!"

"This isn't getting us anywhere." Miranda complained, "We need to find out what's going on and we won't do it standing here. Come on, let's go Shepard."

"Stand down Miranda." Despite the calmness of her order, Shepard still managed to put enough intensity to silence the Cerberus Officer. Looking up Sarah stared at Tali for a moment as if willing the past two years to go away. However she quickly came to a decision, "Look, we can help each other if you just tell us what you're doing here."

"Very well." Tali nodded, "One of our people was here on Pilgrimage. His name is Veetor. We came to find him."

"A quarian in a remote human settlement?" Miranda asked, "Isn't that a little strange?"

"Uncommon, perhaps, but quarians can choose where they go on Pilgrimage." Tali explained, "Veetor liked the idea of helping a small settlement. He was always ... uncomfortable in crowds."

"Not to jinx it or anything," Shepard spoke up, "But this place is a ghost town, how do you know he's even here?"

"We saw him when we landed." Prazza blurted out.

"You saw him?" Jacob exclaimed, "Then why isn't he with you already?"

"Veetor was injured," Tali said, "And he was very, ah, nervous at the time."

"She means that he was unstable." Prazza said bluntly, "Combine that with damage to his suit's CO2 scrubbers and an infection for an open-air exposure, and he's likely delirious."

"When he saw us landing, he hid in a warehouse on the far side of town." Tali admitted, "We suspect he also programmed the mechs to attack anything that moved."

"Lovely." Shepard said sarcastically, "Hopefully he'll be smarter then the last guy."

"I'm ... sorry?" Tali asked confused by Shepard's words.

"Don't worry about it." Shepard said, "Not important. What matters is Veetor's the only one who can tell us what happened here. We need to work together to find him."

"Good idea." Tali agreed, "You'll need two teams to get past the drones, anyway."

"Now we're working with Cerberus?" Prazza complained.

"No, Prazza, you're working for me." Tali shot back immediately, once again displaying her authority, "If you can't follow orders, go wait on the ship."

"Great, now that that's settled, Tali, why don't you and I step away from the rest of the kids so we can talk strategy." Shepard said as she gave Tali a meaningful look. Tali remembered that look from serving on the Normandy.

"Yes, let's do that Shepard." Tali said before looking back at her squad. "All of you stay here until I return."

"You two play nice." Shepard told the two Cerberus operatives behind her, then as she looked around the room she added, "Just so we're clear if anyone shoots anybody, no matter who, I will shoot them right back. In the head if necessary."

With her point made Shepard and Tali stepped outside the room leaving everyone else inside.

"Alright we're clear." Tali said once the sound proof doors were sealed closed, "What did you really want to speak to me about?"

"I'm sorry." Sarah said, much to Tali's surprised.

"... What?" Tali managed to ask.

"For the way I snapped at you back there when we first met." Shepard said apologetically, "I mean I've been gone for two years and the first thing I do when we finally meet is threaten to pummel your friends. Not the best way to reintroduce myself."

Shepard didn't quite expect Tali to respond with a soft chuckle before she responded, "It's alright Shepard. Let's face it, you've always had a certain flair for dealing with situations like that. I would've found it harder to believe it was really you if you tried to be polite back there."

"Heh, I suppose you're right." Sarah smiled, "There's so much I want to talk you about what happen while I was gone. Remember that Geth data I gave you? Did it help you with your Pilgrimage? I'm assuming you managed to complete it and all."

"Yes, I did. And yes, the data you gave me was very helpful." Tali said. Then without warning she stepped forward wrapping her arms around Shepard, "Oh Sarah, it's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back, Tali." Sara said, returning the friendly hug. She hadn't realized how much she needed one.

"Commander, you better get back here." Miranda's voice cut in through Shepard's ear piece.

"Dammit, can't I go just five minutes without people trying to kill each other." Shepard grumbled as she turned back towards the building.

"This is you we're talking about, Shepard." Tali joked as she followed.

As the doors opened the first thing Shepard noticed was the complete disappearance of the rest of the Quarians. Jacob and Miranda were just standing there, waiting, with weapons drawn.

"What did you guys do this time?" Shepard chastised.

"I didn't shoot them." Miranda sneered dismissively, "I figured you'd be happy."

"You did kinda provoke them." Jacob said in Miranda's direction.

"Just tell me what the hell happened." Shepard insisted.

"Obviously, they left." Miranda said flippantly, "They said they didn't trust Cerberus and that they were going after Veetor themselves."

"Oh that little Boshtet!" Tali exclaimed. "He's probably trying to reach Veetor before you do. He'll want to take him away before you can talk to him."

"Should have seen that coming." Miranda retorted.

"Shut up, Miranda." Shepard told her firmly before turning to Tali, "Do you know where we can find Veetor?"

"Head for the far warehouse through the center of the colony," Tali said, "Prazza will try to circle around the far side. He'll probably end up drawing off some drones." Her hands fidgeted nervously as the obvious concern for her teammates crept into her voice, "Oh Keelah. He doesn't know what he's running into, he could get himself killed."

"With any luck we might be able to get there before him." Shepard said, "At the very least we should arrive around the same time."

"Shepard, I have to go after them." Tali spoke up, "Make sure they're alright."

"I know Tali." Shepard understood exactly what she was going through, "Make sure to stay in radio contact. And be careful."

"Will do." Tali replied, "Good luck, Shepard. See you on the far side."

Shepard watched Tali leave suddenly glad for this chance meeting between the two of them. She could only hope that she would get the chance to meet up with more of her old crew in time. As much as Tali had changed, she was still in many ways the same.

Quickly she focused once again on the mission. Her task was clear, find this Veetor and see what he knew.


	9. Normandy Returns

The Illusive Man had been pleased with the evidence she found. He even seemed genuinely surprised that Sarah had managed to discover what she did despite turning over the only surviving witness back to his Quarian people.

That made Shepard smile, people were always quick to judge her as one sadistic bitch, and to be fair at times she was. But she also knew that sometimes you're better off playing nice. If nothing else it tended to confuse the hell out of your enemies. Much like the Illusive Man was now.

He wasn't exactly an enemy, however, not right now at any rate. He just wasn't a friend either. The real enemy had been identified.

The Collectors.

Whatever those crazy bug-like aliens were up to, they had targeted human colonies and were now very effectively and very deliberately harvesting them. Worse yet, if what the Illusive Man was saying proved true, they were doing so for the Reapers.

That's not all he was saying, of course. Sarah knew this man was lying to her somehow. It wasn't some blatant untruth that he was spouting, rather a much more subtle omission here and allusion there. He was trying to control the situation, and Shepard would have none of that.

Direction, he called it, he was merely giving advice, the final decisions were up to her, or so he claimed. Shepard was certain he was backtracking, trying to cover his ass. He was still playing her and would continue to do so for as long as he thought he could manipulate her. Unfortunately for him, Sarah was a damn good poker player. She casually accepted his explanations; sometimes it's best not to call a bluff right away. For now she would give him more rope to hang himself.

As it turned out he had one more card to play, one Shepard never saw coming.

"I've found a pilot I think you might like. I hear he's one of the best." It was a simple statement, but his next few words were very deliberately chosen, "Someone you can trust."

The link went dead suddenly, Shepard could only sneer at the thought of what he could be talking about. The idea of her trusting anyone in Cerberus was foolhardy at best. And then a familiar voice called out from behind her.

"Hey Commander." Shepard spun around towards the source of that voice to see Joker standing in front of her, on his own two feet, with the same smug look on his face. "Just like old times huh?"

Once again Shepard had been unprepared to meet one of the old crew. At least this time she didn't have any guns pointed at her, so her battle instincts weren't a factor. Instead she could only fall back on her initial gut reaction.

"Holy Shit! Joker!" She cried out.

"Nice to see you too Commander." Joker smirked.

"I'm just... Really shocked to see you here." Shepard said walking towards him, taking a look at him it finally started sinking in that, not only was this definitely Joker, but he was also wearing a Cerberus uniform. Even more surprising, he had no crutches, no wheelchair, nothing to help him against his brittle bones.

"Look who's talking. I saw you get spaced." Joker shot back.

"I got lucky." Shepard smiled then added in an annoyed tone. "With a lot of strings attached."

"Well come on," Joker smiled back, "I'll show you around." He walked with an obvious limp - the only indication for his condition - as he led her once former and now current Commander around the Cerberus base.

"I noticed you're sporting some Cerberus colors now." Shepard commented, she wanted to avoid sounding like she was accusing him of anything, "Even walking on your now."

"Hey you're not the only one who got to take advantage of our Mad Scientists Overlord!" Joker added a hard sarcastic twist to the last three words in his usual comedic manner, "They managed to repair all the old breaks in my legs. Even added some kinda metal weave around them so they wouldn't break as easily. Don't get me wrong, I'm still not winning and dance offs or anything, but at least I don't have to lug around those stupid crutches anymore. From the way Miranda talks, they developed the tech while trying to rebuild you. So yeah, thanks for that." The classic Joker grin looked back at her now.

"I'm so glad my grisly death proved beneficial for your convenience Joker." Shepard rolled her eyes. Joker couldn't resist a short laugh in response. After a beat Sarah added, "How'd you end up here anyway?" The unspoken implications hung in the air, they had both been Alliance officers after all.

"It all fell apart without you Commander." Joker frowned. "Everything you stirred up, the Council just wanted it gone. The Alliance was more worried about keeping all of Citadel Space secure while all the other fleets were trying to rebuild. So they made sure to keep us all quiet. The team was broken up, records sealed, and I was grounded. The Alliance took away the only thing that mattered to me. Hell yeah I joined Cerberus."

For a moment Shepard wasn't sure how to react. She felt her heart go out to her friend and pilot. It was strange to feel sorry for him, considering she was the one who died. "You really trust the Illusive Man?" She asked finally.

"Ah, I don't trust anyone who makes more then I do." Joker shrugged.

"Is that so?" Shepard joked, "So the whole time we were on the Normandy you never trusted me. I'm hurt, Joker."

"Heh, alright you got me," Joker smiled, "Maybe there was someone on the ship I grew to trust." Shepard returned the smile, but quickly withdrew it as he added, "I mean that Pressley couldn't lie his way out of a wet paper bag." A sharp but gentle punch to the shoulder told him the joke was just about as well received as he expected. "Hey watch it! I need that shoulder to pull off a Crazy Ivan."

"I'm glad to see you haven't changed." Shepard remarked as she crossed her arms.

"The best things never do." Joker nodded back, "And you're right about Mr. Freaky Eyes back there. That guy's just squirmy. Reminds me of some crazy evil villain from a vid game or something."

"You know, I was thinking the same thing!" Shepard laughed, "Who the hell names themselves 'Illusive Man'? It a stupid name. We need something better to call him."

"How 'bout TIM?" Joker suggested.

"Tim?"

"The. Illusive. Man." Joker explained by putting up a finger for each word

"I like it." Shepard smiled, "Nice and simple." Then more seriously she added, "You know we can't trust anyone here right?"

"Don't worry, Commander." Joker looked back at her, "I get we're making a deal with the Devil. Right now Cerberus are the only ones who want to help us. Besides, they aren't all bad." Joker shrugged, "Saved your life. Let me fly." He walked over to a window and stopped to look out through it. Nodding at the other side he added, "And there's this."

Shepard couldn't resist her curiosity as she took the space next to joker, looking past the window at what had clearly made him so happy.

"They only told me last night." Joker added with a knowing smile.

Beyond the observation window was a large ship hanger. It contained only a single ship, but it was perhaps the most beautiful sight Shepard had seen since waking up at Lazarus station. As the additional lights in the hanger activated they revealed extremely smooth lines and curves of a sleek metallic frame shining brightly and proudly before them. There was no doubt of the similarity between this ship and the original Normandy, even without the SR-2 tags sprayed across the hull making that connection obvious.

"It's good to be home, huh, Commander?" Joker said, damn near reading her mind.

"I guess we'll have to give her a name." Sarah smiled with a genuine warmth. They both knew immediately that there was only one name that they would be willing to use for this ship.

Like Shepard herself, the Normandy was reborn.


End file.
